Skip to main content

Dusk

A new draft of a poem. As ever, comments, ideas, sugggestions etc are welcome. I'll leave it up for a day or so.


Dusk



...it's gone now...

Comments

Katy Murr said…
If you got free copies of poetry books by asking to review them, that would be wonderful - what a way to build up your own library without extortionate expense! (Just checked out your review on Sprackland's 'Tilt'.)

Still, to your poem!

I like the way you've used ' like this' and 'sooner than you’d think' – heightens the tension wonderfully. The actual description in the third stanza reminds me very much of some of Heaney's work, when he's describing frogs... can't remember the exact poem, but I remember 'squelch' and 'stewing'. I'm not too convinced by the necessity of the ellipsis at the beginning; the continual motion, however, is beautiful. It would sound great aloud, I imagine.
Ben Wilkinson said…
Hi, Katy.

Depending on where a review appears depends on what you can expect in return for your writing: sometimes the book alone, and other times a payment as well. Often it's also a great way to encounter poetry of the sort you wouldn't normally read. I hope you found my review of Tilt interesting.

Thanks for your comments on the poem, too; it's very kind of you to compare my descriptions with Heaney's - I think the poem you're thinking of is 'Death of a Naturalist', from the collection of the same name.

I agree on the ellipsis, as I played around with it quite a lot before I posted it up - first it was a comma, then a colon, which I think I'll go back to. What do you think?
Katy Murr said…
Hi,

hmmm... what a good way to make money! How does it typically work - you review something which has recently been published, send it to lots of places, and see who likes it? If you were reviewing it, wouldn't you already have the book anyway?

There's a guardian poetry workshop by Jean Sprackland on The Guardian at the moment, in case you've not seen it. Yeh, I liked the bit about the half-rhymes, and the Milankovitch cycle; I'd heard it discussed, but didn't know the name. The review seems technical and readable - good things to combine.

I like the sounds in what little I've read of her work, although for me it's not as exciting as some other poems, even if it seems more intelligently thought-out. I should read some more though, there's a lot to be learnt from the precision I've seen in what I have read.

Yes! That's the one. From the GCSE anthology. I remember people really played around when they were reading it in class, and began reminiscing about tadpoles and frogspawn of primary school. A clever choice for the anthology!

From what I remember, yes, I think a colon would work better, would create more anticipation - or maybe a long dash?

Popular posts from this blog

Poetry in Motion

POETRY IN MOTION
Why one Reds supporter is committing his love for Liverpool FC to verse


Liverpool FC and poetry have a lot of previous – from John Toshack’s Gosh It’s Tosh collection in the late 70s, to the verse of Dave Kirby and Peter Etherington in the fanzine Red All Over the Land, to the lines written by poet laureate Carol Ann Duffy, a University of Liverpool graduate, in the aftermath of 2012’s Hillsborough findings. Now there’s Ben Wilkinson, Reds fan and book critic for The Guardian and the Times Literary Supplement, who’s compiling a series of poems commemorating the club’s legends. “Football is part of the fabric of life, and anything that’s important to people finds its way into poetry,” he says. “Wilfred Owen’s poem 'Disabled' describes a soldier who loses the use of his legs, meaning he can never play football again. Philip Larkin’s 'MCMXIV' compares boys queuing to join the army to fans outside Villa Park. These poems have stood the test of time because t…

Way More Than Luck: 27.2.18 - the launch

Louis MacNeice

‘World is crazier and more of it than we think, incorrigibly plural’. Even if you’re not that well-versed in modern British and Irish poetry, chances are you’ll still know ‘Snow’, or a line or two from the poem will seem naggingly familiar. While still in his twenties, Louis MacNeice wrote it in 1935, and since then, it’s been a favourite with readers, writers and editors, cropping up in every kind of poetry anthology.

Weird, then, that MacNeice’s work has often been seen as a footnote to that of his illustrious pal W.H. Auden, when he’s so clearly a hugely original poet in his own right. And when, among more recent generations, the likes of Seamus Heaney, Michael Longley, Derek Mahon, Don Paterson and Conor O’Callaghan have all cited him as a major influence in their own writing. It’s not like ‘Snow’ was a one hit wonder, either. Despite some of the less exciting – and often lengthy – stuff he wrote in the early 50s, MacNeice only got better, perfecting his moving, atmospheric and pow…